MIDNIGHT MUSINGS
Here the veil is at its thinnest. These are not polished offerings for strangers, but the raw, unguarded pulse of the Oracle—private thoughts, fleeting obsessions, the slow bleed between life and story. Come closer if you dare. The night listens.
May 10, 2026
Feelings That I Suppress
Sadness, grief, rage, the emptiness. All those feelings are the ones that gets suppressed. I know it's unhealthy, but to deal with them right now is not an option. So they pester and wait.
May 9, 2026
Sress Is Not A Good Muse
Sometimes when life gives you things you don't really want to carry, you end up carrying them anyway, out of convinience usually. But stress, is not a good muse. Might have to try rage next time.
May 6, 2026
Dying Is a Part of Life
My father passed away yesterday, exactly 10:17. He had advanced lung cancer. I had sensed this coming since last year, but still it seemed to come so suddenly. When I said goodbyes, to his now dead body, I played Elegia by Vesa-Matti Loiri. One of his, and my, favorite songs.
"Tiedän ma, rauha on mulle mullassa suotu
Etsijän tielle ei lepo lempeä luotu
Pohjoinen puhuu, myrskyhyn aurinko vaipuu
Jää punajuova; kauneuden voimaton kaipuu"
Elegia by Vesa-Matti Loiri
May 1, 2026
Between Frost and Fields
Lately my mind has been torn between two merciless mirrors. In Frostpunk the cold sinks its teeth into every choice and survival tastes like iron. In Stardew Valley the sun pretends to be kind, coaxing fragile green life from the soil while I know the frost is only waiting its turn. Strange how both extremes feel like faithful portraits of the weather inside my chest—ice one moment, deceptive warmth the next.
April 28, 2026
Whispers from The Testaments
Margaret Atwood’s *The Testaments* has me in its grip like a hand around the throat. The way she braids memory, power, and quiet, ferocious resistance feels almost prophetic. These same currents keep bleeding into the lore I’m forging—perhaps the next tale I spill will carry that same restrained fury, the kind that simmers just beneath the skin until it decides to burn everything down.